


The Real Fight

by discoballDust



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Hate Sex, M/M, Seduction, Seduction... of the heart, Win him back!, With the d!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2020-08-13 12:30:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20174311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discoballDust/pseuds/discoballDust
Summary: Gakuto is done with Yuushi, for real this time. He finally crossed the line of unforgivable, and good riddance....As if Yuushi is going to just let that happen.The funny thing is, their friendship was changing at the time it was brutally broken up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Gakupuri, surprisingly enough.

“Gakuto, they worry about you, I–”

“That’s not your fucking problem!”

Yuushi shrugged. Gakuto was expecting a different defense than what he offered, he easily picked up from the sad eyes on the angry face. His eyes were really blue at the moment, but Yuushi wouldn’t mention that.

“That’s not your place, or, or your  _ decision  _ to make, how dare you?” 

Mad-Gakuto damage control was struggling with this higher challenge. 

“Gakuto, I’m sorry I didn’t tell y–” the wrong thing to say, Yuushi realized. Gakuto spun around and glared.

“Do you know why I started coming here? Instead of Jirou’s? Because I knew your parents wouldn’t  _ fucking narc _ on me.” Gakuto scowled at Yuushi with impressive hostility. He was very angry. 

“I thought it was because I’m your friend,” Yuushi said calmly in a low, measured voice.

“I said STARTED, you fucking know that, I told you!” Gakuto stomped.

Yuushi sighed. 

“Don’t  _ sigh  _ at me, you bitch.  _ Fuck  _ you. I’m not overreacting.”

Yuushi nodded, trying to calm him down. Gakuto closed his mouth and looked down at Yuushi hard, where he casually sat on his bed, silent, placating. Gakuto’s closed jaw was trembling. He was seething.

“You’re just agreeing so I stop yelling at you, but you’re not going to stop talking to my parents about me,” he said that last part with a sick laugh.

Yuushi opened his mouth to defend himself–

“Don’t fucking speak to me,” Gakuto spat. He had stopped screaming but his tone was more venomous than ever.

“I needed a friend,” Gakuto glared at Yuushi for the last time, “not a third parent. I knew you were condescending, Yuushi but you’re a real piece of shit.” He grabbed the edge of his bedding to drag out, and angrily swung his bag on his shoulder. 

“I’m sleeping in Erina’s room. Gonna tell my parents  _ that?”  _ He closed the door surprisingly softly on his way out, not waiting for an answer.

Yuushi lay back on his bed and took his glasses off, rubbing his whole face with his hands. He took deep breaths, and left his hands there. He needed the dark his mere eyelids couldn’t offer. He felt his eyes sting, anyway.

“ _ Shit,”  _ he whispered, annoyed at himself for crying, and for some other things.

_ Oshitari Yuushi, you really fucked up. _

At the time, he told himself he was doing the right thing, but he thought about what Gakuto said, how it wasn’t his place, and that was… true.

  
  


When he woke up the next morning and passed the front door on his way to the kitchen, Gakuto’s shoes were gone.

For once, Yuushi had no hypothesis for how long Gakuto would be angry with him. See, things had been different lately, up until this happened.

Not a bad different, just new territory.

It was gradual maybe, but for the last month or so it had been more… Well, obvious. Inarguable, one might say.

The week before when Gakuto slept over, they were smiling, laughing quietly, telling secrets before going to sleep.

In Yuushi’s bed.

They fell asleep holding hands. When Yuushi woke up, a warm body was pressed against his back. Before he even opened his eyes he was smiling, full of butterflies.

It was going well, he thought. That was the first time they held hands for more than a long handshake or help up off the court. And to Yuushi, that was a big deal.

It was no question that he liked Gakuto, yes, like  _ that _ . It seemed like it was mutual, and even if the increased  _ contact _ wasn’t enough evidence, the quiet long stares they’d share, sometimes with the cutest small smile…    
that was a pretty good sign.

But the situation was delicate, unstable, unspoken and not yet certain. And Yuushi might have screwed it up for good. Sure, Gakuto would begrudgingly forgive him and their friendship would resume as normal, but  _ that _ would probably be gone. Yuushi knew his chances for ever getting that kiss were now very slim, and that was just another reason he hated himself.

The main reason wasn’t about him, not really. He hurt Gakuto, who had every right to be as livid as he was. 

And continued to be, at school, where he avoided Yuushi at all costs and chattered with Jirou and even Shishido, walking down the halls together like Yuushi had never moved here from Osaka at all.

One time, okay. But it continued for days, at school and practice. Shishido usually didn’t put up with Gakuto’s schemes of guilting Yuushi because Yuushi had effectively stolen his best friend. He and Gakuto didn’t get along this well anymore, so what was this about?

Another odd thing was that nobody said anything about their separation. Usually someone pointed out when they were fighting, or Atobe told them to cut the bullshit and not bring their petty drama into tennis, they (Gakuto) would not be getting a different doubles partner. 

Instead, silence. Yuushi practiced alone. He even played a singles match against a pre-regular.

Gakuto was actually making an effort not to fight with Hiyoshi, and that brought Yuushi the slightest edge of fear. 

He wouldn’t stop trying, but he still failed to make eye contact once with Gakuto. It had been one week and 11 hours.

  
  


Atobe solved the mysteries in the club room one day after everyone else left. 

“You’re sure looking dejected. You must have figured it out.”

_ What?  _ He looked at Atobe. “I was just thinking.”

“He might not forgive you this time, Oshitari.” Atobe gave it to him straight.

As it turned out, Gakuto had told the others about Yuushi’s crime. He let this sink in, nodding a little as he realized– Shishido, a typical critic and outcrier of their typical disagreements, was being  _ supportive. _

Gakuto didn’t want to be his friend, and Shishido and Jirou didn’t want Gakuto to be his friend either. Yuushi swallowed.

“Worse than you thought, then?” 

Yuushi had zero tolerance for the smirk in Atobe’s voice, and exited as coldly and quickly as possible.

He made himself into a stone-faced robot all the way home, past the entrance with an autopilot “I’m home” and didn’t stop until he closed the door to his room behind him.

He dropped his bag and plopped down in his desk chair. He allowed himself to have emotions again, but they lagged somewhere, so he was just empty.

He didn’t know what to do, but he couldn’t do nothing. He pulled out his phone and struggled over the right words. Something new, powerful. And honest.

**-I’m so sorry. I would do anything for you.**

Pretty desperate, but Yuushi  _ was _ pretty desperate. 

**(. . .)**

His heart raced when he saw the typing bubble, but it vanished. He kept looking until his phone went to sleep. Then he reopened it and kept looking.

_ At least do your homework, don’t let him ruin you. _

Even if Yuushi probably deserved it. He texted one last time:

**Please, Gakuto**

The message could not be delivered.

He tried LINE. Already blocked. And he kept trying, different apps, failing repeatedly.

“Yes!!” 

Instagram, he wasn’t blocked yet. But when he sent his message again, there was an error. When he went back to Gakuto’s profile, it appeared Yuushi was blocked just in time.

  
  


Gakuto was playing the long game. Well, Yuushi hoped it was a game. He briefly entertained the idea that they would never be friends again. Then he metaphorically slapped himself in the face, what kind of loser gives up that easily? It’s  _ Gakuto _ , he’s Yuushi’s  _ best friend _ , Yuushi would fix it.

It would help if he wasn’t such a damn brat about it. Yuushi never really knew what Gakuto was like as someone on the outside, someone he didn’t actively try to endear himself to.

Gakuto was  _ annoying _ . He could see why he and Shishido fought so much. Was Shishido seeing Gakuto like Yuushi was now?

No. Yuushi had it much, much worse. Because at practice Gakuto would be friendly and boisterous and laugh loudly in his super-cute-turned-super-obnoxious way, and he would whisper to Jirou about something and Jirou would snicker and Gakuto would laugh and then he’d drop Yuushi a single glance, and his smile would sour, as if it was physically impossible for him to smile while remembering Yuushi’s existence. He would give him a look of pure disgust before he turned back to Jirou and regained his smile and high spirits. 

It was infuriating. Yuushi assumed Gakuto was insulting him some of these times, but definitely not all of them. The intent was for him to think so, however. He knew Gakuto that much. He was trying to hurt him.

It worked. 

  
  


Yuushi could take it. He was willing to wait it out until Gakuto’s anger faded, or at least tired, and he’d swoop in and win him back. 

But then there was Hiyoshi. In the mornings, Gakuto poked him in the middle of his back with the tip of his racquet, startling him. Then he’d laugh and Hiyoshi would roll his eyes but  _ smile _ with some wisecrack. Gakuto didn’t glare at Yuushi or acknowledge him much at all.

Hiyoshi was Gakuto’s new doubles partner. Obviously Gakuto wouldn’t be playing singles any time soon, and Hiyoshi was grateful to be elevated to guaranteed regular status. They played together before and were compatible, if not ridiculous looking with their respective unconventional tennis styles. But ridiculous never stopped Hyotei before.

The bothersome thing was that normally, Gakuto and Hiyoshi bickered. Yuushi had broken up their arguments plenty of times.

This was not bickering. This was what Gakuto used to do to Yuushi in the mornings. But Yuushi would greet him good morning and smile at him; he was having much more fun with Hiyoshi’s reactions. Yuushi had nothing against Hiyoshi. He wasn’t a threat, and he was neutral on the issue of Yuushi and Gakuto’s fight. Yuushi would bet that Hiyoshi would do the same thing Yuushi had done, even. It wasn’t his fault Gakuto was his doubles partner. Yuushi respected him. Seeing him and Gakuto just pissed him off a lot, but Yuushi could control his temper.

Then Gakuto started jumping on Hiyoshi’s back at practice, arms around his neck. Laughing and laughing at surprising him. Hiyoshi would throw him off nearly and he’d pretend he was flying, then pretend to be mad at Hiyoshi, and they’d snark at each other.

This was enough to earn Yuushi more than one sympathy glance, even from Shishido.

Yuushi cracked.


	2. Chapter 2

Gakuto walked into the club room late, after his extra drills with Hiyoshi. He noticed Shishido passed him extra quickly on his way out, and Atobe breezily stepped out with a look as well. What the hell was that about?

When he walked in, Yuushi, tall dark and asshole stood leaned against the lockers with his arms crossed, and he looked as cool as Gakuto knew he was trying to. He stared at Gakuto hard. Serious, mouth in a tight line. He was pissed.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Gakuto said under his breath, trying to ignore him, though his mad Yuushi aura was a little powerful. Hiyoshi came in and sensing the hostile environment, rigidly walked to his locker giving them a wide berth.

Yuushi made no move to respond. It pissed Gakuto off. “What do you want, _ Oshitari?"_

Yuushi didn’t react at all, but he heard Hiyoshi’s sharp inhale from across the room. He thought maybe Yuushi’s eyes flickered for a second, but maybe not.

Cold, hard, and smooth. Yuushi sounded just like solid ice. “I thought I’d give Hiyoshi time to finish up and leave before our conversation.”

Gakuto took his shirt off and scoffed, slinging it into his locker irritably. Who the fuck did Yuushi think he was?

“I don’t plan on having any _conversation_ with you. As soon as I’m done changing I’m going home. So if you have something to say, better spit it out.”

Yuushi uncrossed his ankles and stood up straight. “If you insist. First, I want to congratulate you. I know you’ve worked so hard. After all your numerous attempts to hurt me, you have succeeded.”

_ “Excuse me!?” _

Hiyoshi’s racquet clattered to the floor as he tried to put it in his bag. Gakuto continued.

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about? Do you seriously think I have time in my life to spend on _you_?”

“I’m not an idiot, Gakuto. The whispering and laughing, then looking at me like I’m rotten fruit. Obvious flirting with Hiyoshi, which is embarrassing, frankly.” Hiyoshi zipped up his bag and slammed his locker door.

“_What!?_ I’m not- I’m not flirting with Hiyoshi!”

“You’re _literally_ throwing yourself at him.” The way Yuushi closed his eyes on the word literally made Gakuto want to punch him.

“Bye,” Hiyoshi mumbled and the door shut behind him. 

“So fucking what! That has nothing to do with you, I don’t see how me ‘flirting’ is any of your business anyway!”

Yuushi leaned against the locker again and shook his head with a sick little smile. Gakuto waited for him to answer that question, to give him words that Gakuto could use against him, but he wouldn’t.

“What is your goal here Gakuto? What is it you want me to do?”

“I want you to fuck off!”

Yuushi ignored that. “Do you want me to degrade myself? Fine. No problem. I’ve done that. I’ve followed you in the halls trying to talk to you, only for you to run off and laugh at me. I’ve talked to you and you ignore me. I’ve let you insult me for nearly two months at practice, completely destroy what was also _ my _doubles partnership, not just yours.”

“Most people would have gotten the message by now.” Gakuto glared and crossed his arms.

“You think if you punish me enough I won’t want to be friends with you? I understand that you’re mad, you have every right to be. I messed up.”

_"Yeah.” _

“... And I regret it, I apologize. But you can stop smearing me in the dirt whenever you’d like. You won’t scare me off, and I’m not going to break down and cry in front of the entire tennis club, sorry. I’ll keep that at home.”

He looked serious and his voice was steady, Gakuto couldn’t tell if he was joking. He had a feeling he wasn’t, Yuushi cried easily when he wasn’t in robot-mode. _ Good. He should cry. _

“If your _feewings_ are hurt, that’s not my problem, and, it’s what you deserve.” Gakuto didn’t even look at him, just packed his bag.

Yuushi’s voice softened. “You’re my best friend, I’m not giving up, so tell me what you want me to do.”

Gakuto wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want Yuushi’s friendship or presence or anything.  
“I want you to leave me alone. If you really wanted to fix things, picking a fight with me was a shitty idea.”

“You wouldn’t speak to me otherwise,” Yuushi snapped back, alarming Gakuto into looking at him and meeting his eyes hard.

“Huh. Wonder why.” Gakuto started buttoning up his uniform, he’d had enough of this.

Suddenly Yuushi was up in his space leaning over him, hand on the locker next to his head, giving Gakuto a rush of fear. And in a really low, velvety breath, he said,

“Whenever you jump on your new partner, remember who always caught you.” A heatwave blew through Gakuto’s entire body, he could feel Yuushi’s closeness radiating even seconds after he grabbed his bag and walked out, never once looking back. Gakuto watched him walk away, totally transfixed, so much that he stared at the door a full minute after Yuushi disappeared behind it before realizing what he was doing. 

He shook it off. He wouldn’t remember. Gakuto _refused_ to remember. 

* * *

Yuushi ruined fucking everything. He was ruining Gakuto’s life. 

First off, he made it so that things were weird with Hiyoshi now. He wouldn’t jump on his back anymore because Hiyoshi was there to hear the conversation and also because it reminded Gakuto of Yuushi, which was fucking annoying, hearing that piece of entitled shit speaking in his head. Now Gakuto could barely look at Hiyoshi during practice without thinking of Yuushi, and he had been such an excellent distraction before! They were civil, and there was some banter, but… it wasn’t the same. And it fucking sucked.

Yuushi made tennis suck.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Yuushi had managed to extend his bullshit all the way to Gakuto’s classroom. 

Ever since their locker room ‘conversation’, apparently Yuushi started giving the girls in his class the time of day, and not just in a polite way. Gakuto hated how well he knew that laugh and how… it sounded when he was flirting with a girl in the hallway, almost right outside Gakuto’s class. He saw him of course, because he was tall and surrounded by two or three people always, and sometimes he’d look at Gakuto, but never _ever_ if he was busy flirting, and it was all so gross. 

It would be one thing if it was a look like _‘hah, I’m doing this on purpose to annoy you,’_ but it wasn’t. It was the same stupid puppy dog please-forgive-me look from before. It was oddly out of place, because then a girl would walk up and push him on the shoulder and he’d cock his head and bite his lip and laugh and _look_at her, not in the way he looked at Gakuto, but in a… different way.

Then, he’d say something in a low voice Gakuto couldn’t hear and he’d touch the girl’s hair and she’d laugh and ugh, Yuushi wasn’t even that funny!

He was so tempted to just go up to him and shove him and tell him to fuck off and loiter outside a different classroom, but the last thing he needed was to become enemies with the whores in his class.

So he gritted his teeth and walked away fast. 

  
  


“Mukahi-kun? You’re friends with Oshitari-kun, right?” 

A girl he formerly respected sat in the empty desk in front of Gakuto. There was no escape.

“No. I’m not.” He said shortly.

“Oh… Well, he said you were…”

Gakuto twitched with fury, and before he could think it through his eyes flew up and met hers. 

“You can’t trust him.” 

It alarmed her. He softened his voice to something colder but less snappy. “Just a warning,” and he stood up, loudly shoving his chair out, not bothering to push it back in, and walked out of the room. 

  
  


_ That_ was some bullshit. As much as he wanted to avoid it, Gakuto decided to confront Yuushi to at least demand he stop spreading lies. Just one conversation with him, and Gakuto wouldn’t have to deal with his little girlfriends ever again. It would be worth it.

He found him at a sitting area next to the science lab hallway, reading a book alone at a table and drinking from a juice box. Yuushi and his damn juice. Gakuto stood before the table and crossed his arms, waiting for Yuushi to look up. He finally did, and looked at Gakuto softly, no smile but a simple quiet, “Hey,” like they were friends or something. _ Don’t ‘hey’ me. _  
  
“Whatever you’re doing, it’s pissing me off. Your little girlfriends keep talking to me in class about you.”

Yuushi didn’t change his annoyingly soft, innocent expression. Gakuto groaned and continued.

“You asked me what I wanted, and I said leave me alone. Now, you’re ruining my day to day life. Oh don’t fucking _look_ at me like that.”

Yuushi looked down and folded his book closed, Gakuto was 90% sure the bookmark he used was the one Gakuto made for him with a feather. _ Tryhard. _ When Yuushi looked back up his eyes had changed. The corner of his mouth flicked just a little.  
“Jealous?”  
  
_ NO. _“NO.” Gakuto glared. “Asshole. Ha. Unbelievable. Are you nuts? Jealous of who?”

Yuushi sipped on his juice and shrugged, like he knew he was right. 

“Whatever. You’re making shit up–“

“Who do you think you’re fooling, Gakuto?” He didn’t speak loudly or fast, but he still managed to cut Gakuto’s sentence off. That look, the one he gave the girls he flirted with, the one he never used on Gakuto? Well, he was using it now. It was striking.

And Gakuto was struck.

He wasn’t jealous. He might have been, before. When he thought Yuushi was his best friend and his favorite person ever and _really_ hot and sweet– But Gakuto was a fool. It was all a trick, and he knew better now.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Gakuto crossed his arms, he heard how stiff his voice sounded and hated it.

Yuushi looked like was going to laugh but didn’t. He just met Gakuto’s eyes and sucked on the straw of his juice box until it was clearly empty, making obnoxious noises, never letting go of that challenging stare.

Straight faced and cool as ever, he put the box down and licked his lips before finally speaking.

“Liar.”  
  


* * *

This wasn’t going to break him. Not Mukahi Gakuto. Yuushi had done enough to ruin his life, starting with his massive hurtful betrayal, and then ruining tennis, but now this? Gakuto wouldn’t let him. He wasn’t allowed to hurt Gakuto anymore. Gakuto would learn to ignore it. And not let it bother him. Somehow.

  
  
He thought it couldn’t get worse. It did. The next time, the girl wasn’t even one he talked to very much. And it wasn’t just one girl. He was surrounded.  
  
“I know it’s none of our business, but…”  
“I think you should really forgive Oshitari-kun, he’s so sad–”  
  
Gakuto cracked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting to the good stuff. That E-rating kicks in!

Yuushi like a scary quiet storm went up to the roof and swung the door open. It closed shut behind him from the force of the wind. There was only one person out there, and he did nothing to acknowledge the new presence.

“You’ve gone too far.”

“What?” Gakuto spoke into the wind. “You afraid your little girlfriends won't want to fuck you now?”

“If I wanted to fuck someone, it wouldn't be them.”

Gakuto opened his mouth for nothing, he was speechless. He turned. Yuushi crossed his arms and maintained a stern stare. His version of angry.

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_

“What did you tell them? That I had porn hidden in my bag? An advisor came in and shook out all my school books in the middle of class.”

Gakuto snickered. “Did porn fall out?”

“You're a child.” Yuushi’s voice dripped with disgust. It was just as powerful as when it dripped with… Molten chocolate, or whatever it usually did.

“If I'm a child, isn't it weird that you're so obsessed with me?” That made no sense. Gakuto was older than Yuushi.

“Definitely not physically, but your maturity has reached a new low.”

Was Gakuto just imagining things or did that sound really suggestive?

"At least I wasn't trying to hurt you." Yuushi continued, and Gakuto forgot all about suggestive.

"Are you saying this is as bad as what you did? Ha!" Gakuto scoffed, looking back off the roof.

"No I– I'm saying, at least I wasn't trying to screw you over, like you clearly are."

"Ha! Right. That totally makes it okay. It doesn't change the fact that what you did was way worse. You really think this is as bad as you ratting me out to my parents?" Gakuto turned to him finally and crossed his arms, incredulous.

Yuushi sighed defensively before continuing. "That's not what I said, Gakuto. Of course not."

"Hmm, well then maybe you shouldn't be comparing it. All I did was tell some girls you kept porn in your bag!"

"Right. And 'somehow', it got to my parents."

"Well if you actually had porn in your bag, it's your own fault!"

"They see romance novels, what do they think?"

The corners of Gakuto’s mouth twitched.

"Yeah, smile about it, Gakuto. I know you're so happy you got me in trouble. Just know, no matter what I did to you, I never tried to hurt you."

"Bullshit, Yuushi! You sent your little bitches after me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fuck you! They came up to me and said I should forgive you, I bet you aren't telling them the full story! They should mind their own fucking business! Of course I said something to get them off my ass. I don't know why I'm even talking to you anymore! You're not even sorry for what you did." He laughed, like he was surprised. "Holy shit. You aren't, are you?"

"Of course I am!" Yuushi was frustrated, why was Gakuto twisting everything around? "Gakuto, are you deaf? You're twisting my words. If you have to try this hard to hate me, maybe–"

"Shut up! I DO HATE YOU!" Gakuto yelled, louder than the strong winds. "You're a lying piece of shit! You acted like you were so sorry!"

"I AM!" Yuushi insisted over the wind. Looking at Gakuto's face, it was almost as if he'd been considering forgiving him. The way he looked so hurt, all over again. 

"Bullshit. Why should I believe anything you say?" Gakuto snapped.

"Gakuto, you aren't even listening to me!"

"I hope you get in trouble with your parents! And everyone! I should have told them you got a girl pregnant!" He laughed sickly. 

Without him really noticing, his anger has escalated, and now Yuushi found that he was furious. 

"You _are _a child." He gritted his teeth. Gakuto's fiery eyes and red hair flipping around in the wind were not cute right now, as a matter of fact, nothing about him was attractive. He was just an annoying brat making Yuushi's life harder, punishing him.

Yuushi was very close to saying something he'd regret. _You don't even deserve the apologies I've already given. _Instead he chose his words carefully.

"You think just because you haven't forgiven me..." 

He spoke quietly. He saw Gakuto hang onto his words, ready to attack.

"That I'll let you screw with me like this? Not interested. You get your wish, Gakuto." Yuushi laughed, and not because it was funny. "Don't worry. I'll leave you alone from now on." 

But instead of leaving, they both looked at each other hard for several seconds. Then Yuushi turned and walked calmly away to the roof door and opened it, closing it behind him. 

And just like he liked it, Gakuto was alone.

* * *

Yuushi was no longer outside of Gakuto's classroom. _So he really did hang around here on purpose. _When he saw Gakuto at tennis, he did not look over. He passed him briskly. His eyes, if accidentally meeting Gakuto's, were cold and almost disdainful.

_How dare he be mad at me!_ Gakuto was angrier right back. He might have accidentally shoulder checked him in passing, hard, in the locker room. He didn't say sorry.

"Maybe you should tell Coach you're experiencing coordination problems. Wouldn't want you to bring down the team." Yuushi deadpanned. 

The entire locker room, all the regulars fell silent, post-practice chatter dropped off in awkwardness. Gakuto froze. He was dying to turn around and glare at him, to tell him to fuck off. But he just opened his locker and pretended like Yuushi didn't say anything. The other conversations slowly picked back up, and everything moved on. Gakuto quickly changed and packed his bag. He turned to see Yuushi taking his time, totally expressionless, like he was going about a perfectly fine day with no issues. _Asshole. He thinks he's so cool. Just because he's. Tall. And. Girls think he's hot. _

Yuushi put his uniform shirt on and brushed his hair out with his fingers. Gakuto narrowed his eyes in disgust. Then Gakuto noticed the mirror on Yuushi's locker door.

And the eyes meeting his.

_Fuck._ A deep regret rock sank in his stomach, the feeling of being caught. But Yuushi did not glare back, he blinked in acknowledgement. Gakuto grabbed his bag and left before Yuushi could say anything else.

* * *

_Take a picture, it'll last longer,_ is what he would have said, if he was Gakuto. But he was Yuushi, and what he already said was more than enough in terms of sass, especially for him. He almost wished he hadn't said it, and Oshitari Yuushi rarely regretted his locker room commentary.

He had mixed feelings about Gakuto's reaction. Yuushi almost wanted him to fight back, _almost, _but was relieved when he didn't. But then Gakuto just... Stared at him. And he didn't think Yuushi noticed. So, he just let Gakuto stare, and there was something satisfying about someone who claimed to 'hate' him watch him get dressed.

And then, of course, he ran away. Yuushi watched his bouncy angry steps as he departed, bag swinging behind him and hair bouncing to the side, keeping its straight edge as he turned to walk out, intently staring straight ahead.

Yuushi was still angry with him, but... _God, _he was cute.

* * *

"Dare me to hit this at his face?"

"Gakuto..." Jirou sighed.

Gakuto tossed his ball up a few times. "He's just standing there!" Yuushi stood in the middle of an empty court before practice, typing away on his phone with his racket under his arm. Non-regulars nearby wanted to use the courts, but they were too afraid to ask him to move. Gakuto tossed the ball up higher, and took aim.

* * *

To all the onlookers, it happened so fast.

Yuushi saw it from a mile away, of course. It was only a matter of time Gakuto hit a ball at his face.

He hit the ball back, and Gakuto must have thought it was some kind of test, he jumped up to get it and slam it past Yuushi, once again. Yuushi pocketed his phone in the seconds he had in between and got it back to the other side of the court, a nice little drop shot that Gakuto amazingly caught, skidding on the ground, dirt on his chin, jussst managing to get a lob over Yuushi, rolling over quickly, back on his feet.

And that's how it began.

"Haha!"

He was really making Yuushi run. Gakuto was playing well. Better than he played the last time Yuushi played against him, that's for sure. He was anticipating his shots.

It was guesswork, Yuushi knew. He could tell from the glee in Gakuto's face, his little laughs when he guessed correctly. But he kept guessing right, and it was annoying, because Gakuto was annoying.

Although… It gave Yuushi a little thrill. Nobody ever guessed right, not again and again like this. And Gakuto hit it back every single time, like a little red topped jumping bean snickering when Yuushi had to run for it.

He wiggled his knees, waiting in the back of the court, ready for anything, smiling, eyebrows furrowed. Yuushi used to love when he wiggled his knees like that, smiled like that.

_Used to._ As if being annoyed with Gakuto could undo years of endearment to his doubles partner’s tennis habits.

Yuushi felt his mouth fight its shape, but he for one refused to smile. He wasn’t lobbing enough for Gakuto to get a moonsault, and it was only a matter of time before it started frustrating him. Then easily, he’d grab the point, and Gakuto would throw a fit.

But Gakuto didn’t seem to care. He flipped and jumped beautifully, foregoing his signature move for the smaller acrobatics to return each and every shot, always in the right place at the right time. It was different to watch from this side of the net. Yuushi could see more of his face, less of his ass.

He was up at the net and Yuushi caught his eyes. It was at that point Gakuto realized in horror that he was smiling. He killed it instantly, making his face neutral, back to the cool playing stance he had started off with and abandoned several minutes ago.

“Practice is starting! Clear the courts!” 

Gakuto’s ball landed out. First point, for Yuushi, though their game had already ended. Gakuto scoffed and walked off the court, turning his face away quickly.

Yuushi realized he was sweating. This annoyed him. What was more annoying, was that he didn’t know _why _it annoyed him.

He stood there, watching Gakuto walk away.

“Oshitari!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He watched a few more seconds before finally stepping off the court. 

* * *

“Bastard!” Gakuto felt stupid. STUPID stupid. 

“It looked fun!” Even Jirou knew better than to say, _it looked like you were having fun. _

Gakuto knew that if Jirou said it looked fun, and was awake through it, it must have been true. 

“He didn’t get any points on you, Gakuto, you were awesome!” 

_I know, right? _Gakuto thought smugly. But he refused to admit any sense of pride. “He was probably going easy on me. Asshole.”

“I don’t know… Maybe… But you still played really well!” Jirou’s sunny face wasn’t lying to him, but it was looking a little sleepy. Gakuto grinned at him a little, appreciating the compliment. “Thanks,” he finally added softly. “Are you gonna practice?”

“Maybe… After a nap.”

Gakuto raised his eyebrows and chuckled. “Okay Jirou. I know my tennis tired you out.”

“Mmm, it really did.” Jirou’s voice got quieter as he ascended the bleachers. Gakuto felt a nice little buzz from having played well, but when he turned to see Atobe talking to Yuushi, it all soured.

_Yuushi. _He was annoyed with himself for smiling so damn much. He didn’t even realize. It was only because he was owning him! He hoped Yuushi knew that was why. He wasn’t forgiving him or anything.

It had nothing to do with how good Yuushi looked playing tennis. Fuck, he was good too. Gakuto got really really lucky, guessing his moves. He could tell Yuushi was irritated because of what techniques he tried next– that’s half of how Gakuto guessed. He _LOVED_ that he irritated Yuushi. Because he hated Yuushi. With his narrow thoughtful eyes, meeting his at the net and freezing his entire body for a second–

Gakuto shook his head at his thoughts. Shook them right out. It was time to practice. Stop thinking about Yuushi. _Asshole._

* * *

It was just them left in the locker room because Gakuto had to clean his chin, and he was afraid it seemed intentional. It was normal of course that Yuushi was there, because he was always slow.

At first, Gakuto thought maybe Yuushi wasn’t mad at him anymore. So he made sure to set the record straight, breaking their awkward silence.

“I’m still mad at you.”

Apparently he was wrong. Yuushi laughed at him, not even looking up.

“Hah, what a coincidence.” 

Yuushi’s laugh was sick, his voice grinding in Gakuto’s ears and suddenly he was really pissed off. Gakuto glared at him, hard. He knew he was acting childish, but he was just _so _annoyed.

“Don’t look at me like that Gakuto.” He scoffed.

“Like _what?” _Gakuto nearly tripped on his words, not surprised but unprepared for actually being called out.

“All cute or whatever.” 

What the _fuck? THAT WAS NOT THE INTENTION._

“What the fuck, I’m not! Are you crazy? I’m pissed! Plus you’re the one that’s all deep voice look at meeeee I’m so coooool.” He mocked him, trying to offend him.

_Shit!_ He _laughed. _“Yuushi stop fucking laughing!” He looked too good laughing. How could someone so annoying be so hot? _Shit!_

“And p-put a shirt on!”

“You put a shirt on!” 

“Stop looking at me!” Gakuto was frozen on his feet, he was trying to turn around but he couldn’t choose a direction to turn. 

“Fine.” 

Yuushi pushed Gakuto against the locker and kissed him hard, pressing his lips to his with his whole body. When he came up for a deep breath, Gakuto shoved him away and moved around, turning Yuushi and pushing _him_ against the locker, and he stood on his toes and went back in. Rough, urgent, punishing kissing, and neither would be the one to back down. Neither of them wanted to. Gakuto felt hands tighten around his waist, pulling him closer, and he heard some loud breathing that might have been his. 

He tore away, “Just so you know,” and his breath hitched as Yuushi started kissing his ear, “I’m still mad at you.” He grabbed Yuushi’s face to redirect his kissing, but this was now a fight to get the last word. 

“You’re hot when you’re mad,” Yuushi breathed, his lowest, sexiest voice. A powerful weapon, a stun gun in a way. He caught Gakuto’s open mouth, bringing his arms all the way around him. The kiss was deeper this time, smooth and not soft and Gakuto got very very distracted by it. He tried to push against Yuushi’s chest, his annoyingly sexy bare chest, _mm,_ warm to the touch, but he was trapped. It made him mad, and turned him on, which also made him mad. He could at least move his head enough to snap back, 

_“You’re not.” _

Yuushi allowed one more kiss before calling his bluff, backing away. His hands were back to Gakuto’s waist, and Gakuto tried his hardest to glare at him, but Yuushi wasn’t looking–his eyes in the most obscene way were climbing slowly up Gakuto’s bare abdomen, finally reaching, meeting his gaze- uh, glare. His hands slowly followed, as well as that same fucking voice. 

“You don't find me attractive,” his fingertips slowly dragged up Gakuto’s chest and he cocked his head, “Gakuto?” 

Acting like he knew what he was doing, _bullshit_. But it _was _hot, so Gakuto found his breath, leaned forward, and whispered, “fuck you.” 

Then he kissed him again, right back in arms, hiking a leg up. Yuushi laughed to cover up his pathetic gasps, probably. He helped, lifting Gakuto by the ass with a nice complimentary squeeze, and Gakuto wrapped his legs around his waist. _I’m not even touching the ground. _Nothing but his legs and Yuushi’s hands were holding Gakuto up from the Earth. They kissed, messy and hot and admittedly clumsy, noisy from the heavy breaths and soft sounds in between, their mouths taking turns to wander freely from neck to jaw. Neither of them realized how badly they wanted this until it was happening.

They were pressed together, but not enough. Gakuto held Yuushi tighter with arms and legs, but still he wanted more. Yuushi seemed to agree, or maybe Gakuto was getting heavy, or maybe just because he had the upper hand now, he turned around to pin Gakuto to the lockers again. _Now _they were pressed together, and Yuushi pushed his hip against where Gakuto was hard, just what he so deeply desired. Then he did it again, _god_ yes, and again. And that time Gakuto heard himself sigh vocally, like something a porn star would do and he got kind of embarrassed, and with that embarrassment came clarity in the haze– he remembered it was Yuushi, and that he didn’t trust Yuushi, couldn’t trust Yuushi, _don’t trust Yuushi._

Gakuto shoved him off, returned to the floor, and backed far away. “Just remembered,” he muttered. 

He got dressed and left, and walking home two things were significant:

  1. He couldn’t stop thinking about how sad Yuushi’s eyes were after he pushed him off. He wasn’t annoyed or mad or anything, just… hurt. 
  2. He couldn’t stop feeling Yuushi. His hands down the back of his body, his hot breath on his neck, his lips, _him, pressed into him_–

The last one in particular stuck with him the whole uncomfortable walk home. It was with no small shame that Gakuto holed up in his room immediately and completed the job he interrupted, trying to preserve the memory of Yuushi doing it to him.

He finished and threw the tissue in the trash and plopped face down on his bed.

_“Shiiiiiiit.”_

* * *

The next two days were awkward. Yuushi wasn’t mad anymore, but he also didn’t try to get his forgiveness. Gakuto no longer caught him looking at him. He didn’t look happy or anything, but he seemed like he was finally backing off.

But Yuushi caught Gakuto looking at _him_. Then Yuushi would meet his eyes and Gakuto would freeze for a second, become conscious of his neutral curious expression and fashion it into something of a glare, but Yuushi’s expression wouldn’t change. He’d meet Gakuto’s eyes with a very hard gaze. Not sad. Maybe angry? But his mouth was a neutral line on lips Gakuto tried to forget he liked. Gakuto couldn’t figure out what kind of look it was, but the intensity of Yuushi’s eyes from far away under such a circumstance felt like a challenge. A few more seconds of glaring and Gakuto would turn away and move on.

Yuushi was not the guy Gakuto thought he was. Who cared how hot he was or how well he pressed Gakuto’s buttons and knew just what he’d like, even though he had no right or reason to know such things? Gakuto didn’t even know those things! He ruined everything, and Gakuto almost really really liked him. what if he hadn’t found out? Too bad the physical part of attraction didn’t care about facts and betrayal. He would just have to keep reminding himself. Yuushi didn’t deserve him.

The second night Gakuto woke up sweating in his sheets, gasping from a dream about his ex-best friend, he started considering alternative solutions.

He didn’t look at Yuushi the whole next day. He thought that maybe Yuushi looked at him, but he wouldn’t be sure, since he didn’t give in. Practice proceeded that afternoon, and it was hard work. Gakuto was training pre-regulars in doubles, partnering up with them, dealing with their idol worship and trying not to be an asshole while giving them corrections and pointers. He could almost forget about his problem (and his idea), but the end of practice came as it always did. And he spared Yuushi a look. Yuushi gave him that same stare back, several meters away while coach talked, and Gakuto didn’t look away this time.

They both went extra slowly packing things in the club room, and Gakuto gave him a glance before heading to the showers, still in his uniform. Yuushi wasn’t called the team genius for nothing. He followed Gakuto into a stall.

Gakuto pulled him down by the shoulders and they kissed fast, messy. Gakuto bit his lips, Yuushi bit his back. Gakuto pulled Yuushi’s hips in, rolling against him. And man, it felt like relief, like he’d been wanting to feel just that for days, he bucked against him a few times to reward himself. Yuushi’s sexy little laugh, his tongue licking Gakutos lips, his sharp inhales and hands sliding hard up his sides under his shirt. Gakuto pulled Yuushi’s butt to him and slid a thigh between his. Yuushi started rocking against him and Gakuto moved his hands up to ball fists in his hair, biting his lip harder until Yuushi moaned (_ha!_) and tasting him and thanking himself for doing this, it was even better than he remembered. Yuushi broke to kiss his neck, whispered, “mm, you really want me.” 

Gakuto stopped tilting his head, defiant. “Not as much as you want me.” Yuushi just laughed all sexy again and kissed his collarbone. 

Gakuto got smug satisfaction from feeling Yuushi hard, rocking against his hips. But as much as he liked the hands on his ass, it occurred to him that Yuushi was enjoying this too much. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. He put his hand on Yuushi’s head and pushed it down a little. Yuushi glanced up for a second and pulled Gakuto’s shirt over his head. And with strength to make it look easy he lifted Gakuto higher against the shower wall _yes, keep lifting me, _and licked his nipples and fuck, that- Gakuto liked that. But he kept pushing his head down. Yuushi just kept kissing him in a line down his abdomen, but Gakuto pushed his head down more. Finally he looked up and Gakuto was breathing unevenly and staring at him, hand on top of his head, waiting. He put Gakuto down and got on his knees.

_This is crazy. It’s not going to work. He’s not going to do it. I’ve gone too far. This was such a stupid–_

But Yuushi gazed heavily up at him for a few seconds and back down to Gakutos shorts in front of his face, and hooked his fingers into the front of his waistband. Gakuto closed his eyes after that.

It wasn’t difficult for Gakuto to go from half-hard to very very hard as soon as he was in someone else’s grasp for the first time, but it _was_ difficult for him to keep quiet, especially when Yuushi’s mouth was all around him, his tongue lapping at the head slowly, experimentally. A long lick along the underside and then _oh FUCK_, “fuck,” Yuushi closed his mouth around him, his lips sliding... Gakuto slapped against the wall behind him and the other balled up in Yuushi’s hair, and he could only keep his eyes closed for so long when he knew someone was sucking on him like that. He had to watch, and it made all the difference. Oh, he’d imagined this the night before, visualizing a shadow of what he saw now, bangs in Yuushi’s face and kissable lips now dragging on and off him, with the help of long fingers. Fuck, the heat, his soft tongue felt too good to be true, pillowing his erection while gakuto watched his wet lips slide with it . visualizing it while jerking himself off and feeling it were widely different things. _God _Yuushi was hot. He could probably get any girl to blow him, and Gakuto just put him on his knees. He was breathing harder and harder, occasionally Yuushi would suck all the way off and he’d feel cold air so different from wet hot mouth, and damn if he hadn’t found the best way to shut this genius up. Gakuto so kindly moved his hair out of his face to continue the job unhindered. With Gakuto’s hand on his face, Yuushi locked their eyes, and he didn’t stop, and Gakuto was in another world.

Gakuto wasn’t going to last long at this rate. Yuushi was way too sexy in general, and now he was nearly swallowing him. The eye contact was evil, the way his eyes smiled a little right before he did something fancy with his tongue. He seemed to really like making Gakuto breathe hard, trying so hard not to moan, settling for just a quiet vowel breath. Then Yuushi used his voice again, that damn weapon of his. but this time he moaned deep around him and it vibrated, _damn. _Gakuto squeezed his eyes shut and sighed, “Fuck, _Yuushi_.”

_Shit. _

Yuushi pulled off and Gakuto looked down at him, he didn’t mean to say his name, even if he wasn’t sure what it meant. Yuushi gave the same hard unreadable stare as before, his mouth was open next to Gakuto’s cock, breathing hard, lips dripping with a mix of spit and something else. Eyes intense like dark liquid fire. Finally Gakuto whispered, “Don’t stop.”

And Yuushi finished him, sliding long and tight around his length long and fast over and over into that amazing hot mouth, Gakuto arching too deep into him and pushing a fist back against the slippery wall where he squirmed, biting his lip to keep from making any noise as Yuushi sucked him harder and he peaked, a shaky, frantic ascent as he reached the edge. Oh _Fuck, _he was coming, Yuushi was making him come, he jerked his hips while the orgasm washed over him violently and he hit his head back against the wall. 

He settled shakily and looked back down to watch Yuushi clean him up. He realized he came in his mouth and Yuushi took it like no big deal. As a matter of fact, he seemed like he knew what he was doing with all of this. All Gakuto could do was watch. Yuushi thoroughly licked him clean until he jerked from the sensitivity, then he planted soft kisses slowly on the tops of his thighs. Finally Gakuto swallowed to clear his throat.

“Um. Thanks. I have to shower now.” 

Yuushi stood up and gave him a long look. 

“Of course.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and walked out.

Showering guaranteed reflection. Gakuto felt like an asshole, but the idea _was_ to use Yuushi in a way that may hurt him, and at least this way he knew his message was clear.

Besides, he deserved it. Gakuto drowned himself in the water and washed off, convincing himself it was morally fine and admitting that Yuushi giving him a blow job was fan-fucking-tastic and should definitely happen again, and also, _wow, that really just happened_. His legs were still shaking.

He wasn’t looking forward to the end of his shower, since he hadn’t actually brought his towel or anything to the stall, he just needed Yuushi to leave. But when he opened the door, prepared to run to the club room for his things, he found them folded neatly on a dry stool within reach. 

* * *

This was not something they did every day. For example, the next day was Wednesday, and they didn’t have afternoon practice.

But on Thursday, Yuushi stepped into the shower stall and immediately confused Gakuto with slow soft kisses, which were wrong–that was kissing like they liked each other, which was not the case. Gakuto was about to bite his ear to correct him when he realized it was a distraction, and almost out of nowhere, they were totally undressed. In no time at all, the shower was on, they were very very soapy, and they were kissing and jerking each other off. It didn’t bother Gakuto, really, to get Yuushi off. even though he was the winner by being the one to come, he didn’t feel like the winner. If he didn’t have to do any work, he also didn’t have any power. Like hell would Gakuto let Yuushi hold something over him! Another reason it was okay was that… Gakuto wanted to.  
It felt good to grab Yuushi by the balls and stare him down, to have that kind of control, even if Yuushi was in position to do the same. But he didn’t. He just bared his teeth and licked Gakuto’s face, the freak, and distracted Gakuto into letting go.  
They had fun. Gakuto might not like Yuushi, for he made a shitty friend, but having sex in the showers after practice wasn’t bad. At least Yuushi was good for something. Really good.

He didn’t trust Yuushi as a friend anymore, but he still… Trusted him not to hurt him, or tell people, or anything.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuushi had to weigh the benefits here. Nothing was happening according to plan, but this was good. Gakuto hadn’t forgiven him, but he was using him for sex, so he couldn’t be all that mad anymore. 

Yuushi missed him, badly. He wanted his best friend back. He wanted to go see stupid movies and eat fast food and stay up too late playing games and share secrets, making fun of each other and laughing about it. He wanted Gakuto to jump on his back at tennis practice. He still jumped on him sometimes. After practice. But it wasn’t the same.

It was good. No, it was great. Yuushi just had to be really careful.

He got away with as many slow kisses as he could. And sometimes, he thought Gakuto was really kissing him back, with feeling. Like it was him, like he was kissing Yuushi, and not just kissing for fun. Gakuto never let it happen for long, though. He’d either move Yuushi’s hands to his butt or move his lips altogether, and it would be over.

Yuushi counted the times Gakuto said his name. It wasn’t often, but when it did happen, he felt wonderful. He never heard “Yuushi” at school anymore, it was always Oshitari. Gakuto didn’t call him Oshitari except that once, but… He avoided his name altogether. Except sometimes, if Yuushi was _just that good_, he could pull his name out of him, and when he did, it made his week. He always tried.

  
It was hard to resist, really. After a particularly bad day, after practice when they’d usually play around, Yuushi pulled Gakuto back into a hug. And he laughed a little, but Yuushi didn’t do anything, just hugged him, buried his head in his hair, and held on to him, for as long as he could get away with. Until finally, Gakuto’s voice hesitant, “What are you doing?”

  
It’s funny how his voice wasn’t uncomfortable, or annoyed. Just uncertain. Yuushi wondered if he was scared of letting himself like it. Or maybe that was just Yuushi’s wishful thinking. He played it off, moved his hair, started kissing his neck. Gakuto sighed and tilted his head, see, everything was fine. But it wasn’t enough, he must have read Yuushi somehow when he held him tighter. He wasn’t being careful enough.  
Gakuto wriggled away and turned to him. He looked serious.

Yuushi played it cool. “What? You don’t like it?”

“It’s just… Weird.”

“So you like it? Or you don’t?”

Gakuto looked at him quietly for a few seconds.  
“Sometimes I think you’re confused.” 

Yuushi’s heart sank. That stung. Rejection in so many words. He looked away and spoke in a deadpan, “What can I say? I’m a romantic.”

“Okay, but... We’re not... Friends. That’s not what this is.”

Yuushi nodded, still wouldn’t look at him. Should he risk it?  
Should he?  
He did.  
“Right, you’re just using me for sex.” At least he didn’t _sound _hurt. 

Gakuto laughed a little awkwardly. “What, like you aren’t doing the same thing?”

Yuushi finally looked at him, expression stony. After a few seconds he said, “Right.”

Gakuto tried to laugh it off, lighten the mood. He walked toward Yuushi and started sliding hands up his shirt, on his sides. “As long as we’re clear…” he whispered.

Yuushi backed away. He had to.

“I don’t feel like it anymore.” He turned away. 

Gakuto grabbed his wrist, “Come on, Yuushi…”  
Yuushi’s name didn’t sound so nice this time.

“No thanks,” he jerked his wrist away. He went to his locker and changed. Yuushi couldn’t do it, not today.

Gakuto was annoyed but quiet. “Fine.”

They got dressed and left at different times, neither one of them spoke another word.

* * *

Gakuto ignored the issue. He knew it was only a matter of time. He ignored it as long as he could, and that time had come.

_“So you like it? Or you don’t?”_

_I don’t! I don’t like it I don’t!_

But it did feel really good. 

Gakuto did like it, but he wasn’t supposed to. 

The thing was, he really liked most things about Yuushi. How he looked, how he walked, how he _talked_, the things he said and the way he felt and smelled and tasted… the way he played tennis, how he sounded when he laughed…

Listing things didn't help. None of it mattered, because what Gakuto didn’t like was the most important of all- he wasn’t on Gakutos side. He was fake, and he lied, and he was a bad friend who betrayed him. He apologized when he didn’t even mean it!

Gakuto couldn’t trust him, even if he _wanted _to, even if he almost forgot, all the time…

He couldn’t. It sucked, and he missed Yuushi his best friend, but that was never a real person. Just a lie.

But he was a damn good… Whatever he was. Sex...Fri-  
No. Not friend. Well, whatever. The _point_ was– Yuushi was sulking. He stopped following Gakuto into showers and looking at him altogether.

But surely he’d get over it.

* * *

Oshitari Yuushi was a weak man.

Gakuto finally shut his locker for him one day and crossed his arms and stood between the metal and Yuushi, frowning.

“Are you done pouting yet?” He said, pouting. Oh, he forgot how much he loved seeing Gakuto up that close, eyes annoyed with fire, his lips... Gakuto really was hot when he was mad.

Yuushi had to stay strong. No sex if you won’t forgive me, that was his stance, if Gakuto kissed him he was prepared to push him off-

Gakuto didn’t kiss him. He disappeared. And Yuushi couldn’t even get words out, such was his surprise that his pants were being yanked down and Gakuto finally returned the favor.

* * *

Gakuto thought it was funny. He didn’t mind sucking Yuushi’s dick. It wasn’t all that difficult like he made it look, and he kind of got hard from doing it, but anyone would have from how yuushi breathed in that voice. It was fun. There was kind of an art to it, and he was doing great. Tasted sorta weird at first, but not too bad. Something that might have contributed to the fun was how Yuushi gasped like never before- it was funny to surprise him, make him _whine,_ sort of, in a breathy hot Yuushi way.

“Gakuto” he breathed, pushing Gakuto’s head back, _“Gakuto.”_

_What, you’re gonna come already?_

Then he heard the footsteps outside.

The two of them scrambled, Yuushi barely getting his pants up, out of the locker room and into the shower, into one of the stalls closing the door. They caught their breath, safe, and looked at each other.

“That was close,” Gakuto whispered, Yuushi nodded before pulling him to his chest, hand behind his head. It wasn’t a sexy hold, though he felt Yuushi still hard against his stomach, pressed against him. Before Gakuto could do anything Yuushi tilted his chin up and kissed him, deeply. So deeply Gakuto felt dizzy. 

He got lost in that kiss. Somewhere in his mind he knew, _this is a real kiss, this isn’t a hookup kiss, this is loving, _and he knew that was bad. Really, he did know. But it would be punishing himself to put a stop to it. He wanted to not want it, but he _did. _He liked it, this deep kiss, and it felt so easy and so _good_ to kiss deeply back and just let his head fall heavy into Yuushi’s hand and meet his lips. It was a ride, kissing like it was important. What the fuck ever, if this kiss was letting Yuushi win, Gakuto didn’t _care_. He liked it so much that it wasn’t worth stopping, just like any of what they did. It was still just a kiss, he could say it meant nothing, because it didn’t. It was just nice, and that’s all, so he was happy that it continued, their heads swimming against each other, lips attached. He felt the kiss with his whole body.

He didn’t really think too hard when he moved a hand down Yuushi’s shorts, it changed nothing of their long sweet kisses. Yuushi made no effort to move his arms away from cradling Gakuto which, fine, whatever, just don’t stop kissing like that, _don’t stop._

He liked feeling him hard in his hand, it was fun making him _feel_, because as much as Yuushi pretended not to notice and just holding him and kissing, Gakuto knew it turned him on. Normally he’d focus on that, play with him like a toy, but he was still lost in the magic kisses. It was an idle process, automatic really. Yuushi’s hips started rocking, pushing his leg against Gakuto’s crotch and he trembled from the relief, the friction he forgot he was craving. Still, he was busy and present only in the depth of Yuushi’s lips loving his, and tasting them back.

They had all their clothes on and Gakuto wasn’t even being touched but it was so good, stroking Yuushi, kissing like they needed each others mouths to breathe. Gakuto rubbing against Yuushi’s thigh with the rhythm of their kiss. It didn’t get frantic or messy but their tongues danced deeper, their mouths locked until Gakuto seized up and came, fuck, he didn’t mean to. he kept kissing and jerking off Yuushi who held him tighter and not for much longer.

After he came and their mouths separated for breaths, Gakuto thought that might be the end. So why did he go back in for more? Their lips were raw already but he didn’t want to stop.

* * *

Yuushi broke each kiss, slowing them down before sharing another, never opening his eyes. _If any moment could last forever._ Gakuto kissing him even after the sex ended, because Gakuto wanted to, because Gakuto couldn’t stop. _Does he realize he’s hugging me back? _Yuushi didn’t fool himself into thinking everything was solved and good and that he kissed Gakuto into forgiveness, but just in case it had…

He broke another kiss and held Gakutos chin and waited to meet his eyes. Gakuto kept them closed.

“Please forgive me.”

* * *

“That’s not what this is about” Gakuto mumbled after mustering up the will power to push far enough away from Yuushi that he wouldn't be tempted to just fall against him again, resting his head against his chest.

“Gakuto, what _is_ it about? I’m sorry for what I did, I’m even more sorry I hurt you. Why?”

Yuushi kept his voice patient and steady, he softly held Gakuto's face. Gakuto shook his hand off weakly.

“I don’t think of you the same way anymore.”

Yuushi never stopped thinking of Gakuto as his best friend. _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I miss you I miss you I miss you_ he’d thought before, constantly, seeing him turn around after they hooked up and walking away. 

Today, Yuushi didn’t accept it. “You appeared in front of me and gave me a blowjob after 3 days without my attention, and you want me to believe you don’t like me?”

Gakuto shook his head no. “I don’t like you. I’m horny. But we aren’t friends… friends with benefits maybe.”

“Friend with benefits means that we’re friends.”

Gakuto ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t hate you anymore. Happy?”

“Yes.” Because the words made Yuushi happy.

* * *

“But I still don’t forgive you.”

It bothered him how Yuushi smiled anyway.

“You will. You’re my best friend.”

“No Yuushi! I’m not!” He raised his voice and Yuushi pulled him in by the waist. His squirming got him nowhere and Yuushi whispered in his ear, Gakuto nearly forgot just _how_ deep and chill inducing his voice could get.

“As long as you keep coming back for more, you’re my best friend, and eventually you’ll forgive me.”

He put his lips on Gakutos ear and Gakuto shuddered, he barely kept from sighing. He meant to jerk his ear away, but he didn’t.

“Until then, remember. I’m not using you for sex. I never stopped liking you. Every time I kiss and touch you and make you cry out, I am doing it like I mean it, because I do.”

“Yuushi-“ Gakuto squeaked, suddenly nauseous from these words. Nauseous or turned on, whichever was worse. Yuushi backed away just a little.

“If you have an issue with that, it's your problem, not mine.”

He left Gakuto in the shower as always. Gakutos hand was still covered in Yuushi’s come, he washed it off with the shower head. His hair was a mess and lips were red and he felt something deep and horrible in his gut, past his soiled pants.

* * *

Yuushi was preparing to beat himself up. He might have just ruined a really good thing.

But part of him was glad he did it, the same part of him that remembered Gakuto kissing him sweetly, holding him, by no definition using him for sex.

This was going to work.

And if not, he’d burn that memory into his soul in case it was the last of Gakuto he ever had.


	5. Chapter 5

Gakuto couldn’t see Yuushi anymore. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew the answer was obvious. He just wasn’t ready to face all the reasons, or think about any of it at all.

He felt sick at practice. It only got worse, and he didn’t know why. People started to notice.

He stopped doing moonsaults. He was mad every time he saw Yuushi, even though it was from far away. _How dare he kiss me like he means it. _Or get him off because he wants to make Gakuto feel good, because he _likes him_.

God it scared Gakuto, because thinking about it he liked getting Yuushi off too. But only because it made him feel powerful, only because it was fun to see Yuushi’s reactions, satisfying that only Gakuto could do that.

That was different from how Yuushi felt. Right? Right?? Sometimes he was scared that maybe he wasn’t right and he thought maybe that’s why he felt sick. Or something.

_I don’t want it. I don’t like you. It’s not the same. Stay away. _He wished he could forget it all. He kept forgetting to eat breakfast, everything felt wrong.

“Mukahi-san!”

His head hit something really hard.

* * *

“-tari-kun, you should really be in class,”

_Huh._

Gakuto was starting to wake up.

“Oshitari-kun-“

Then a soft voice, so soft like almost he wouldn’t recognize it, but of course he did.

“I accept the consequences.”

_No thanks. _Gakuto decided to fall back asleep.

Later Gakuto woke up for real, and he was awake enough to wonder what happened.

He had some reality/dream hybrid that warned him Yuushi might be there and he really hoped not. He didn’t hear anything. He was still at school, he thought. Nurses office likely. No way he would have gone to the hospital.

He got enough energy to open his eyes and saw the IV in his arm, _shit, am I at the hospital?_ But some very Atobe’s-staff medical kit was in the corner that said no, he was at Hyotei. Atobe’s jersey and tennis bag was there with his own. Atobe always worried too much. It was surprising that he wasn’t too busy to be here, but he showed up every time something happened to someone at practice, even non-regulars, even the first years. He wasn’t here now, though. Maybe no one was, Gakuto thought before he heard someone behind the curtain, the unmistakable sound of a rolling chair gliding across the floor, slowing before peeking out behind the curtain—

“Why are you here?” It came out like polluted air from a dusty fan. He tried again.

“Why are you here?”

Yuushi’s face was soft, he wasn’t trying to convey anything or hide anything. Just… Soft. He rolled the stool forward with his feet to the bedside.

“You know why I’m here,” his voice was soft too. “How are you feeling?”

Gakuto wouldn’t look at him. When he did, he felt sick again. For days he felt nauseous but he never got sick, so he wasn’t so worried. But Yuushi placed a little trash can in his lap. And Gakuto immediately threw up in it.

_Fuck._ _Fuck fuck fuck fuck._ How did he know? He always knew. He risked a look at Yuushi’s face, but psycho Yuushi wasn’t grossed out or anything, nor did he look super concerned. He just had the same soft expression. 

All Gakuto wanted to say was “I feel sick every time I look at you,” but he hesitated because Yuushi just saved the integrity of the blanket, clothes, and room around him. Also, he wasn’t done being sick.

Yuushi rolled to the desk and rolled back. He had a cup of apple juice ready when Gakuto was done. He took deep breaths and didn’t look at Yuushi, just in case, but held out his hand for the apple juice. 

“Small sips.”

This was awful. This was the fucking worst. He felt like shit, his neck hurt, his head hurt, his throat hurt, he was sick, _Yuushi was there_, and even worse in his fucked up state of existence he just asked Yuushi to put the trash can on the floor, which he did, with no hesitation.

“Why are you here?”

“I didn’t want you to be alone when you woke up.”

“I wish I was.”

Gakuto knew he sounded like a brat but he felt like shit and it was true, he probably wouldn’t have needed that trash can if Yuushi wasn’t there.

Yuushi didn’t say anything to that, but he rolled back some. He laughed a little and looked at the ceiling. Finally his voice was deep and Yuushi again. “I thought you didn’t hate me anymore.”

“Can you get someone? I feel like shit. Please?” Gakuto didn’t care anymore, he hated being awake and he didn’t like the IV tugging at his arm and he needed the nurse and not Yuushi. 

Yuushi pressed a button next to Gakuto’s bed.

“Where’s Atobe?” Gakuto asked while he waited for the nurse.

“In class. Do you know what happened?”

“I don’t care. Go away. This is all your fault.”

Gakuto really hated the tube in his arm and he wanted to think about anything else. 

He wanted Yuushi to fight back and distract him more than he wanted him to go away, but he didn’t know that when he said it. He started crying, he really hated the tube and everything hurt and Yuushi was stupid and it _was _all his fault.

Yuushi left, and Gakuto cried like a little kid. Why wasn’t anyone else here for him? No, he had to stop being a baby. But he felt so bad! He finally heard the door open and Yuushi spoke in his low voice to the nurse, who came past the curtain to finally check on him.

“Please take this out of my arm. Please,” Gakutos breathing was harsh. She didn’t argue, just said “okay, sweetie.” And removed the IV. The band aid had jigglypuff on it and he felt more like a kid and so he never really stopped crying, which was conveyed in his broken speech as the nurse asked him questions.

“It hurts. It hurts,” he said to everything.

She asked if he wanted pills or a shot, since the IV was out. He didn’t know. “Now or in 15 minutes?”

He chose the shot. And he heard his baby wet voice, gravelly and hoarse, ask for the squirtle band aid instead. Everything slowly got better and at some point she asked if it was okay for his friend to sit here while she made some calls, and Gakuto felt so utterly defeated, he nodded okay.

* * *

Yuushi brought his stool back in and sat down.

Gakuto looked like shit. He was clammy and his eyes were rimmed red and his face was wet, and despite all this he glared at Yuushi. Challenging him. 

Yuushi wanted to say, “_your eyes are really blue_,” because they were. But the nurse was there and that was a very gay thing to say.

The nurse left the room, the door clicked shut.

“Your eyes are really blue.”

Gakuto only nodded. “You can tell me what happened, if you want. Or you can leave. I don’t really care.”

He didn’t really want Yuushi to see him like this, super gross, but it was too late. _Well, I don’t want him to like me anyway._ But he still wanted Yuushi to think he was hot. Now he would never want to make out with him.

_Except he probably will, because it’s Yuushi, and it’s because he likes me. _If he was using Gakuto for sex like he was supposed to, then he’d leave Gakuto alone from now on. Or maybe not, since he wouldn’t have been here in the first place, so he wouldn’t have seen him.

But of course Yuushi was going to be here. 

“You got dehydrated. You have a fever. You fell over before a doubles drill, Atobe and Kabaji brought you here. Hiyoshi tried to come but Atobe made him stay.”

Gakuto felt a little annoyed about Atobe letting Yuushi come. “What makes you so special?” he grumbled.

“He told me to stay, I didn’t listen.” 

Gakuto scoffed.

“So, it’s all my fault, huh?” Yuushi’s soft merciful voice went somewhere else, and Gakuto missed it.

“I’ve felt sick ever since you said that stuff. So it’s your fault.” He heard himself, but he didn’t care.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“I dunno maybe you gave me some sort of disease.”

Yuushi looked away and laughed bitterly. “It could only be something you gave to me,” he said in a low voice. “I know you’re not a bad person. I know you aren’t really mean, Gakuto.”

Yuushi didn’t look at him but these were new words.

“I mean even if you hate me, I just want to remind you,” he cleared his throat.

Then he looked straight at Gakuto. “That I have feelings too.” he smirked, but he was admitting that he was hurt, despite how put together he was, despite his even, steady voice. “And, If you recall... all I did was kiss you and tell you that I like you, which you already knew.”

He laughed and looked down and Gakuto thought maybe he made a face. He took his glasses off to wipe them with the stupid little wipes he keeps in his pocket.

“And you think that it, that I, made you physically ill.”

He finally looked at Gakuto and his eyes were cold. Freezing, shivering.

“Maybe you did this to yourself. You want to hate me so badly that I make you sick. So I’m going to give you some space.” He replaced his glasses and looked at Gakuto one last time before grabbing his bag. “Atobe should be here in a few minutes. Feel better,” he said emptily, and the door clicked softly on his way out.

Gakuto reached down and grabbed his trash can.

* * *

Yuushi wasn’t sure what would happen next. It was getting harder to close his eyes and remember that kiss, remember his best friend reaching for him and kissing him long and sweet, again and again, long after it was anything sexual. Before, he could remember how his tongue felt pressed against his, how he laid his cheek into Yuushi’s hand. He hugged him. He hugged him and Yuushi kissed him with love and Gakuto kissed him the same way back. 

It meant something, Yuushi knew that. He was strong enough to keep believing it even when Gakuto lashed out.

He also remembered Gakuto looking at him and immediately throwing up. Twice.

That did some ego damage.

He gave Gakuto space. Maybe he’d write him a letter this weekend. He was running out of ideas on how to win him back.

* * *

Gakuto got better. Turns out, it was just a bug. He got some medicine and felt better in a few days. It wasn’t Yuushi’s fault.

He felt silly. He really put Yuushi out and needed to apologize- even if they weren’t really close or anything he didn’t deserve how Gakuto treated him that day.

So he did. Between classes, so he could make a quick escape. Yuushi had looked very surprised.

“Hey I’m really sorry about what I said and how I acted in the nurse’s office. It wasn’t your fault, obviously, you were just being nice and I was a huge asshole. I took out feeling shitty on you, so yeah. You deserve an apology.”

He shifted his feet awkwardly, giving him a few seconds before he said “Seeya!” and raced off to class. Yuushi blinked a few times. “Apology accepted…”

* * *

Things were even weirder now. Yuushi had more options for how to proceed but he wasn’t sure which to choose. So he tried being quietly friendly.

But Gakuto was busy enough to avoid much interaction.

Finally, one day after practice, Gakuto went into the showers. He didn’t really make eye contact with Gakuto beforehand, which was routine, but Yuushi was confident he could seduce him.

He opened the shower door and Gakuto spun, surprised. In a hushed whisper, “What are you doing!?”

Yuushi closed the door behind him.

“I…” he lowered and slowed down his voice, “thought you might be feeling … neglected.”

“I didn’t invite you.”

“You never have before.” Yuushi intentionally didn’t look below Gakuto’s head, just reached toward him and twirled a small piece of his hair. It was funny how Gakuto looked so aghast that Yuushi would even be there. Yuushi pulled his shirt off his head and suggested innocently, “at least let me share the shower?”

Gakuto gave him a dirty look, and not in a dirty-dirty way, in an annoyed way. A frustrated look that told Yuushi he’d won.

He didn’t give Gakuto another glance until he was pulling his boxers off his ankles, reaching for his glasses-

Gakuto grabbed them out of his hand. “Dammit!” he muttered.

Gakuto feverishly kissed all of Yuushi’s plans away. He let himself get lost in the feeling, savoring his lips, tongue, teasing mindless skin-whispers, even if everything was rough and not sweet and slow like last time.

God, he’d missed this. He missed touching him, too, since it had been even longer. Gakuto raking his teeth down his chest had less to do with him getting hard than dragging his own hands down Gakuto’s everything.

Gakuto looked frustrated that he was seduced, frustrated in a really lustful way, _he loves when I grab his ass_. Their making out was bordering on loud and messy so he turned the shower head on behind him.

Yuushi smiled between teasing, biting kisses. For once he didn’t care about winning Gakuto’s heart. At least they could do this.


End file.
